TastyGlorious Fish-Chips-Burgers-Kebab. (For S.B.)

“Oh my god! Its Jackie Chan!”

“Garry you can’t say that! Not all Chinese people look the same.” Garry’s girlfriend puts her hand up over her face slightly and turns away.

“No I swear its Jackie Chan, babe. It’s got to be Jackie Chan.”

“What would Jackie Chan be doing buying donner at 2am in southeast London? ”

“No, that’s got to be Jackie Chan babe.”

“Shu’ up, he’ll hear you!”

The guy in front of Garry in the queue turns around. “What did you say?”

“Sorry ignore him.” Garry’s girlfriend glares at him to shut up.

“What did you say?” asks the guy again, this time sounding a little harder.

“Fuck, Jackie Chan is going to kick my arse.”


“You saying I look like Jackie Chan?”

“Garry, shut. UP.  Sorry, please just ignore him. He’s drunk. He’s a moron.”

“You think all Chinese people look the same do you?”

“No, I don’t. I just think you and Jackie Chan do. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

There’s a heavy pause, the guy in front of Garry clenches his fists where they hang. Garry’s girlfriend is getting pissed off at what he might have started, and she’s standing there waiting for god knows what.

“Nah, I’m just fucking with you, even Chinese people think I look like Jackie Chan,” he eases into a smile.

“Arrghhh!” Garry jabs a finger in front of his girlfriends face. “I told you he looks like Jackie Chan. Mate! Can I take a picture with you?”

Garry’s girlfriend is annoyed at his smugness now, and she doesn’t appreciate being poked at either, but Garry get’s like this when he’s been drinking, and she does love him.

“Okay, if you’re quick then”, says the guy.

Mate. Rob’ll be so pissed when he thinks I met Jackie Chan and he went home with that bird instead.” Garry’s girlfriend doesn’t say anything as she gets out her phone. She takes the picture of her boyfriend doing a cheesy thumbs up with one hand, and his other arm slung over the smiling Chinese man. She rolls her eyes and the phone makes an artificial camera sound.

Garry jumps in as the guy is about to pay for his chips, orders himself a large bag, and pays for it all.

“Thanks mate” says the Jackie Chan guy, and he walks out of TastyGlorious  fish-chips-burger-kebab, leaving Garry and his fed up girlfriend to share their large chips, and reconcile over mild drunken foreplay under the table.


About hereisthemoment

I write. Sometimes I don't.

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